The Marvelous Misadventures of Sasuke
by TheLeagueOfExtraordinaryMorons
Summary: Sasuke and Itachi go on a trip and try to restore an old brotherly bond, all the while simply trying to live with each other while odd things occur. However, the Akatsuki are hunting down Itachi since his resignation. How does Sasuke put up with this?
1. Old Times

Itachi: Alright, it's time to show them I can make a fic too. Now computer, make me my story!

...

Itachi: Hello, are you sleeping? What a piece of crap! You tell me that it can take pictures, talk back, and use the internet, but it cant make a single chapter!?

Pisst, Itachi. Here's a tip. WRITE IT YOURSELF! And don't forget the disclaimer!

Itachi: Damn, this is going to be harder than I thought. (quickly types something) That should do it! Oh, and why should I make the disclaimer? If anyone knows the word FAN with the word FIC, then obviously we don't own anything Naruto wise. Oh, and here's a fun little thing for you people out there. There's NO NARUTO! Only me baby!

Wow, your acting more impulsive than usual.

Itachi: It's the high you get when you send something to be judged by millions of people over the web. Oh well, let's see how this works!

The Marvelous Misadventures of Sasuke

Ch.1: Old Times

Two figures walked along among a path that stretched out miles into an open landscape as the sun hung overhead. These two figures happened to be brothers and the last of their clan due to a dark deed that had to be done if it meant peace, carried out by the elder of the two. He was Itachi, and with his younger brother Sasuke, they are to travel the world and regain a broken bond from long ago.

Or rather that was the older one's idea.

As for Sasuke, he was now walking with the one he long hated and vowed to place vengeance. His mind changed however after seeing a convincing video tape made before the act and it allowed him to give his brother a second chance, if not a very slight one.

The two have been walking for three days since they were last at home, at the Village Hidden in the Leaves, and so far their brotherly connections were slowly falling farther apart than when they (or just Sasuke for the matter) hated the other.

"Hey, how you holding up?" Asked Itachi as he looked at his sibling who was trailing far behind; the answer was a monotone-ish "Shut up."

"You know, the point of this is for us to talk, not for you to sulk like a child."

"As soon as you give me a reason not to, I might _consider _to eventually get in a better mood."

"A little touchy now, eh? Alright, I can play your game." And in a slight huff, Itachi dropped from where he stood in the middle of the path, and grabbing the back of Sasukes shirt as he tried to continue on. "Oh-ho, no no no little brother. We are staying at this spot until you are ready to tell me what's wrong, besides our obvious problems in the past."

Sasuke placed some mild interest in his older brother's words and chuckled at the proposition Itachi insinuated. "You want me to…talk about my feelings? All right, I can tell you what I think of you right now in three words. Kiss. My. Ass." One thing he didn't expect was Itachi starting to weep.

"(Sniff) I can't believe we're bonding now…."

"DID YOU NOT HEAR WHAT I SAID?!"

"Listen," Itachi jabbed as he rid himself of the little act he gave, "one thing that we'll need is that there has to be a bit of humor between us, or otherwise we won't get anywhere in our little trip and we might as well just go back to town."

"Sounds good to me."

"But I won't make it that easy for you. I will show that I am still your brother, and that that one day was only because I was ordered to do so. If you want to be mad at anyone, blame the Hokage or our clans' leaders, but not me." Finishing with a sigh, he looked up at the sky and noticed it was already getting late. "We should set up camp now, 'cause it will take us a day to reach the next town even by running."

"…Fine."

It didn't take long for them to set up two tents and a fire with some food roasting alongside. Night came quickly and the two sat close to the flames without talking. After a while, Itachi shrugged to himself while he rummaged through his bag, pulling out a bottle of Sake. Filling up a cup, he handed the rest of it to Sasuke who looked back feeling questionable about the elders' motives.

"Sasuke, I want you to sit back, pull whatever that's stuck in your ass out, and drink some forget-it-all juice."

"Aren't I a little young for alcohol? Isn't there a age restriction…."

"Hey; if you're old enough to kill, you're sure as well old enough to drink."

Sasuke grabbed at it while mumbling to himself "I haven't actually killed a person." but Itachi didn't hear, so as soon as he put some in his mouth, spat it out into the flames. "Ugh, that tasted horrible! Do people really enjoy drinking this garbage?"

"Suck it up, it's only for tonight. Besides, it will help you unwind. Now I think it's time you told me what happened with yourself. Let's say… near the end of the ninja academy; I can more or less guess what happened beforehand."

Sasuke, after taking another swig of the liquid, spat out; "Fine, I'll tell ya since you're so interested in poking through my life and to judge me. I was in school almost a… I think year ago… somewhat around there and it was the last day of school…."

---The story within a story---

I was sitting there in the back trying to think of ways of killing you, or ignoring all the screaming fan-girls. It seems to become the same after a while. Maybe it was to kill the fan-girls… I don't remember anymore. Everyone was getting into class and it didn't take long for Iruka-sensei to get to the point once everyone got there.

"Today, everyone will be set up into squads. These will be composed of your fellow classmates based on your level of compatibility with each other."

Then he started to read off who was with who, most were of no surprise or I just didn't care until it came to my group. "Team 7 is Sasuke Uchiha, Sakura Haruno, and Rock Lee."

-----

As the two sat near the fire, Sasuke busted out laughing. "Oh man, you should have seen Lee's face when he saw whose teacher he had as team Captain. He was so devastated because his only real friend was Might Guy."

"That fruit is still alive and well?"

"I wouldn't call him a 'fruit,' but yea." After taking another swig, the younger brother continued.

-----

"What do you mean Guy-Sensei isn't my teacher?!" shouted an exasperated Lee when Kakashi finally walked through the door. The guy sure took his sweet time getting here.

"What I mean is, you're chosen to be in this group because everything is balanced out between the three of you and I'm here because I'm the most balanced in all areas of combat."

Lee asked who was in Guy's team; who was Tenten, Neji, and… I forgotten who the other guy was. He sat two rows in front of me during the selection… Oh well, it doesn't matter. He was replaced afterwards, by another soon after, then that happened again… It seemed like no one could keep up the pace that Guy set, so in the end it was just two slots with Lee occasionally joining their group from time to time.

Anyways, Lee accepted it and worked with us as a team. When it came to the survival exercises, we managed to succeed and since only two people could go on, Lee passed up on the chance to continue (perhaps in the hopes of joining Guy's group) to find out that they all passed.; the first group ever to finish with flying colors. After that, it was remedial tasks until I told Kakashi how annoyed I was because all we were doing was taking out garbage and water plants. I said "I'm here because I'm a ninja, not for slave labor."

So we eventually got a job to help this old drunk to his home to finish a bridge. It was to be a simple mission, but then we found out he had a bounty on his head; when we found that out, it was too late to turn back.

The guy who was trying to kill not only the bridge builder but all of us was Zabuza Momochi. Kami, he scared the crap out of me almost as much as you Itachi.

-----

At this point, Sasuke was getting quiet red in the face from all the amount of Sake he drunk. Most of his speech became slurred but still understandable to Itachi.

"So what happens next?"

"Letssee… We fought and won the next few times… Met his partner Haku-What kind of namesat? Now… Hesa fruit…. But eventually we encountered his employer, and killzed him. Umm, and Zabuza and Haku left. Think they're still alive out there… Then more retarded chores, the exam and ta-da! Here I am." Sasuke tried to get another drink, but found the bottle to be bone dry.

"Well… I think we made some great progress today! We'll just see what tomorrow brings."

"Shuddaup…I…I don't need ya sass. You're more worthless than Sakura…" And in a drunken state passed out then and there.

Itachi dragged Sasuke to his tent and said to himself "Maybe the Sake was a bit excessive to get my brother to open up, but I'm sure I'll hear about it tomorrow."


	2. Brother, can you spare a Yen?

And thus the start of a new chapter. Since Itachi ditched it after the end of the last one, I had to pick up the slack. Meh, enjoy anyways.

...

Ch. 2: Brother, can you spare a Yen?

The next morning, Sasuke grasped his head in both hands as he mumbled curses at his brother who had packing up everything.

"You know, if I had any idea on how much of a lightweight you are when it came to Sake, I could have watered it down a bit for you."

Sasuke only gave a glare as he rubbed his temples, flinching at every word that came out of the others mouth.

"Anyways," Continued Itachi, slightly louder than before, "I think it's time to move on to the town. There's supposed to be some sort of festival going on, so that will be fun. And if I remember, there's also a place that will provide a temporary cure along the way for your hangover."

Finally placing the last of the camping materials into the backpacks, Itachi slung one over his back and tossed the other to Sasuke who caught it with displeasure and mumbled, "You know, for some family time, you are really sucking at this."

"I need practice, sue me. Now let's get a move on."

…

After spending a good half hour walking in silence along a long and dusty path among hill-ridden cliff-laced paths, the two walked along the edge as they looked out and saw a huge blue lake with mountains and forests seen far off in the distance. Sasuke dropped his backpack as he stared at the land. "Wow. I can't believe I'm saying this but this is a…sobering experience."

Itachi walked up behind him. "Yup, so do you feel better?"

"My head's still pounding and hurting, but it's a little better."

"Because the scenery isn't why we stopped here."

"What do you-!"

At this moment Itachi grabbed the back of his brother's shirt and tossed him into the water, the younger screaming in surprise the whole time until he finally hit the water. Then after picking up his brothers gear, Itachi rushed down to the edge and waited a few moments until Sasuke reappeared and flailed out of the water, soaked to the bone and shivering from the lakes icy cold depths.

"Y-y-you are s-s-s-such a ba-ba-bastard."

"And yet I bet your headache's gone because of the shock. Am I right?"

Sasuke trudged on, not dignifying the answer with a response as Itachi smirked and followed.

"Anyways, the town should be nearby. Hope you're ready for it, because if it's anything like the last time I was there for business, we are going to be in for one crazy time of our lives."

"So far, that's the exact opposite that I want. Can't we just go through this garbage at home?"

Itachi grinned and grasped his raven haired brother by the shoulders and laughed, "So you can sulk and avoid me? Not likely!" Hopping up and ahead to a hill farther up, he tossed his arms out as if in an embrace and shouted, "Orienaj! The city that knows how to party!" And as if on cue, fireworks shot up into the air, followed by almost defining cheering as Sasuke ran up and saw a large town filled to the brim with people, color, and festivities.

The child took it in with a sigh. "And I thought I was over the headaches."

…

As the two passed crowds of people in bizarre colorful masks and costumes while bands played on street corners and stands packed with food, knick-knacks and street shows, Itachi looked as if he was a little kid who was told he could have as much candy as he wanted, while Sasuke felt nausea from all the sights, smells, and the cramped feeling of a large crowd.

"So Itachi, if there are so many people here and it seems to be such a big deal, then why haven't I ever heard about it?"

"Well… It's one of those adult party events, and most the time you hang around people who only care about work or rarely leave the village… And this place _is_ out of the way of normal trade routes…"

"And why do I not believe you?"

"That's your problem. Oh look; a pocky vendor!"

And so for the rest of the day, Itachi dragged his brother from street to street enjoying the sights while Sasuke tried to keep his irritated attitude but it slowly eroded away to a modest amusement all the way into the late night….

The two brothers held each other up as they stumbled from left to right. "…And how the girls dance while the music played on like it was the last day ever!" Itachi finished reminiscing about the last time he was in the town. "Everything moved so fast then, it was almost like a dream! Oh how I love this place."

Sasuke didn't say anything, but they both knew he enjoyed it to no end. With Itachi acting like he was, with hopes that good times and a bubbly approach to today started to rub off onto Sasuke.

"Well, I can say that was a lot of fun. Now Sasuke, hand me my backpack, I need something from it."

Sasuke held on with a slight grin. "Now don't pull that with me, you had both the packs remember?"

Itachi laughed then shot into fear. "No. I don't have them. I…I thought I gave them to you. No, I KNOW I gave them to you."

Sasuke flung himself away from his brother, the bad mood quickly returning. "Don't give me that. You set them down when you went to dance on the stage at the back of the town, remember?"

"Why didn't you grab them?"

"I said I was going to see the street magicians the moment you had that cursed impulse to go on in the first place!"

"Damn… Well, what happened happened. Let's just leave it at that and rent a room at a hotel for the night. Maybe we'll be lucky and there be a vacancy, and then we'll buy new equipment in the morning."

After a half hour of searching, the two found a rather basic motel that had a number of rooms open, much to the brothers relief.

Until the hag at the main desk told them the price for a night.

"Wha, wha, WHAT!? That much for a night?" Itachi shouted, not believing his ears. The old woman behind the desk grinned wickedly as the price hung in the air.

"7059 yen*, that is my offer for this and every other night for the rest of the week as the festivities last. If you don't want it then many other people will, as I assure you that any other building would increase their prices dramatically because of the need of supply and demand."

Itachi was infuriated, but decided to pay and get it over with. 'I'm just lucky that the Uchiha family had a small fortune…….?!" Itachi felt his pocket for his coin bag, but only grasped air. Quickly digging through every pocket while nervously thinking 'No,no,no,nonononononono!' "I…I've BEEN ROBBED!"

Sasuke himself was in such a rage that he grabbed Itachi by his shirt's collar and roared "How can you be robbed?! YOU'RE A NINJA, AND SOMEONE PICKPOCKETED YOU?! Luckily I had a feeling that something like this would happen to you, so I…." He felt around his own pockets while slowly his face flushed. Letting go of his brother and taking a few steps away, Sasuke muttered "Say anything and you die."

Itachi sighed while as he turned back to the desk lady. "Maybe we can arrange a deal to have a room for the night… Me and my brother can do-."

"Stop right there." The hag hissed with a glare. "No money, no room, _no deal_. It's that simple, now get-." Before she could finish however, a small quake and screams from the back was followed by small crowd of wet angry guests. "Hey, what's going on here?"

"Your restroom just had a major flood." "I'm soaking wet, along with my luggage!" "I think it was a pipe to your sewage line! It smelt too funny for it to be normal!"

"What?!"

Itachi pushed his way through with a smirk. "I can do plumbing easy." He chatted coolly.

The hag just looked far too angry to be human. "You planned this… You come in with no money, happen to know plumbing, the bathroom goes crazy…_Fine. You'll get your room after you fix this mess._"

"Thank you." Itachi pushed his way out of the crowd and into the restrooms (which now looked like a fountain or water park than anything else with all the water flying everywhere) to find Sasuke there with a sly smile as pipes gushed out water. "Sasuke, do you know what you just did?"

"I found a way to get even with that old pile of bones. Well, I had my fun, I'm ready to go."

"No, you just got us a ticket for a free night here! Come on, lets fix up this mess and…"

"Actually, I think we may want to leave."

"But-."

"NOW!"

Sasuke looked over to the toilet stalls, and with a look of not wanting to be there, jumped over Itachi and out of the room. The elder only scratched his head, completely unaware of what his sibiling has done. Just as he gave it some thought, a quaking sound came from all over the room and spurred from the toilets.

"Oh crap."

Crap indeed.

….

After fixing up the plumbing and cleaning up the mess, the two finally had a room for the night. Sasuke stood on a pile of newspapers waiting to get into the shower (he was up to his waist in waste) while Itachi was already inside, clearly _heard_saying "Never be clean…Never be clean…."

When he finally got out, he had the same look as of when the pipes almost exploded; Terrified and mentally scared.

He looked at Sasuke and croaked "Warn me next time you do something like that."

"I did. When I said run, that didn't mean 'sit on your butt and pick your nose.' It meant 'get out or pay the price.'"

As Itachi hopped onto the couch that was in the room, he began to have second thoughts about the trip (which is one thought more than normal), but brushed it away. 'I wanted the exciting and unusual. I sure got it.'

AN----

*7059 yen is around $72 USD.


	3. Discovery and the Curse

A little something after a really long wait.

Chapter 3: Discovery and the Curse.

Sasuke tossed and turned in his sleep in the following night. Grasping at his pillow and scratching his neck at where Orochimaru bit it as it burned itself into the boy's dreams. After a bit of groaning he finally woke up. Rubbing his eyes, he saw that Itachi was still sound asleep at that the time on the nearby clock read 3:00 in the morning.

He tried to go back to sleep but couldn't and in the end found himself going for a late night walk. The brisk air chilled him to the bone as all the shops were closed; it was like everything was abandoned and all life in the city to be non-existent. As the wind nipped his face, it also brought along the sound of music like that of an old wind up music box floated from the city center. Without explanation, Sasuke followed until he eerie tunes and found that it leaked from the cracks from a decaying wooden caravan, surrounded by polls that emitted a green fire from the top.

Curiosity controlling his actions, the Uchiha entered to find a small fire softly illuminated the small room. "Whoever owns this crap cart must have just parked it here. I didn't see anything like this earlier-."

"And what can I owe this intrusion too?" A old, tired, and angry voice muttered behind the boy, causing him to jump.

'I didn't even feel his presence….' "Who are you?"

"I think I'm in no obligation to someone who broke into my home."

Sasuke looked around the dank small room. "I think it's time to upgrade to something… Livable."

"And now you mock my way of life. Why are you here?"

"I just followed some music to this place."

The man, who looked old, weak, and shady as he pushed his way past the boy and pulled out a dusty broken music box coloured in a faded purple. "Are you talking about this thing? Well sorry to disappoint and point out either imagination or insanity on your part, but this things been broken for years."

"No, I-."

Sasuke rubbed his temples. It didn't make sense that he heard it but it was apparently broken. When he opened his eyes, the old man stared at the boy's neck. "Whats that?" He questioned when he stepped forward.

Sasuke grabbed the part he knew that was worth a glance; the curse mark given by Orochimaru. In fact, he could feel it prick as it started to push out power.

The old man stood up strait with a wicked grin. "And now I know. You are the puppet. That mark is nothing more than the strings to the corpse for a man who fooled himself into thinking he has some power over others. I see your future involving him, one or the other will search in the dark of the night. One must destroy the other as both can't survive, and beyond that must face the end of days. Side with the Demon or the Darkness, and destroy the world you know!"

"What are you-!" Sasuke felt the curse mark pulse with pain as his limbs grew rotten before his eyes, and the man just laughed as the world turned to fire around them…

…

Sasuke shot up from his bed as sunlight flooded through the window onto himself and the snoring lump that was Itachi. He quickly felt his curse mark and gave a slight sigh of relief; all to soon however.

It erupted with power and Sasuke screamed in agony, practically waking the town if not already so. Itachi saw what was happening, he fell out of bed and scrambled to his brother.

"What in the name of… Sasuke what's happening!?"

"The Curse Mark!!!" The boy shouted as he clawed at his skin as he got up and jumped out of the nearby window, as if he were to lose his mind for a moment in a full city for a killing spree…

Itachi followed suit.

…

Far out of the city, the two stopped in the middle of a large forest as Sasuke cringed in pain.

"Sasuke, what's going on?"

The younger brother didn't even bother to say anything as he finally succumbed to the foreign source of power as he collapsed to his knees, the black marks etching itself across his body while enveloped in a purple flame like chakra.

"Orochimaru…." Was the only thing he muttered before he lost his mind completely before the power. As the body looked to Itachi, he saw something he never wanted to see again.

The eyes of Orochimaru.

"So that bastard already gotten to you." The elder Uchiha muttered in disbelief. "Well…Guess that means I have to give you the treatment; a good long knock out!" He leaped into action as soon as he finished-but Sasuke, who now had only the single minded urge to find Orochimaru, was faster.

Sasuke knocked his brother out of the way with a single back handed slap to the side of the head and with a jump high enough into the sky formed a few hand signs and called out with a slight monotone "Fire style technique; Flame of Glory." and scorched out the land underneath-landing in a safe patch a ways off. He didn't bother to stay and wait to see if Itachi was alright, the snakes call was too alluring.

However, it wasn't long for a fist to swing out from the corner of his eye to make a crash course through the forest.

As the boy crashed through a few trees, the curse mark finally released its hold leaving Sasuke like a rag doll lying atop the fallen foliage. Itachi caught up huffing and rubbing his fist that went numb after the last blow, taken keen notice of his brothers mark.

"I remember what this is, and who creates them. Damn it Sasuke, why didn't you say anything?" He slung his little brother across his solders and huffed as he hobbled down a path under the strain of extra weight. "It looks like we're going to have to make a stop of an acquaintance of mine to see if this can be fixed or not…."


	4. Akatsuki Failing

Hey hey! Naruto's second story is up for those who are interested. You may be lost at first but don't worry, I won't leave you in the dark. And a bit of warning, there's an O.C. in this chpter of this story. He won't be around for long.

Chapter 4: Akatsuki Failing

Meanwhile as Itachi went to find this "old acquaintance," the old organization he once was joined with had their eye following him….

Zetsu sat a fair ways off arguing with himself as he watched Itachi pull along his brother's body.

"**I say let's just get this over with and fight him!**"

"Please, remember last time? We couldn't fight back."

"**He managed to get the jump on us, but now he doesn't susspet a thing. Now let's just do this while we can!**"

"He has that Tsukuyomi and the Mangekyo Sharingan. We wouldn't survive, now let's just do our job and inform Pein for our next move."

And so despite his darker half wanting some blood on his hands, he did like living even more so he complied.

…………

At the Akatsuki headquarters

…………

A hologram-like version of Zetsu appeared before his peers as he gave out his report on the traitor's position and company. This received murmurs around by the members there; Itachi quickly became a reoccurring topic that was almost taboo as the Uchiha became a bit of a threat to the organization, unlike Orochimaru who was at least more predictable and therefore controllable. That and he had no allies to fall back upon if he ever decided to fight against his betters. Itachi could, in theory, notify nations that the Akatsuki were contracted against and hunted down if location of the headquarters was revealed. Itachi wouldn't be at the center of the attack as he is known to be insanely tricky and manipulative, even without his jutsu, and combined with the fact he's born into one of the most well known and respected families in the village hidden in the leaf that has contacts essentially everywhere…

Deidara was the first to speak up to Pein who had his arms crossed and eyes closed in concentration. "So what are we going to do? We can't just let him wonder around, and let loose our secrets, un?"

"And so you're right, he's a threat in more than one way but we can't just use all our resources to tie up this one loose end… Deidara, I think that this should be your mission. Find any way to silence our old friend, and accompanying you would be Kisame and the new recruit."

Deidara paled at this order, as he knew about the problems that this possessed.

"Are you sure you want to do that un?! You know Kisame's problem and the other… seems unreliable. I mean, we could pull Sasori from his mission to-."

"NO. His mission is too important, and as I recall you were board from the 'lack of action.'"

"I don't want to die either, I know my limits un."

"That's why you will be sent with two others. As for Kisame, I sent him through a little therapy session that had somewhat positive results aside the fact that he hasn't fully regained himself. Now follow your order and don't come back until completed."

"…Yes sir."

"And while you're at it, tell Zetsu to return. I have another assignment for him."

"Yessssss sir."

…

Already halfway to the destination via clay owl with Kisame and the member who newly re-joined, Tobi, Deidara sighed with anger being assigned with the two biggest morons of the organization against Itachi. He could already tell things looked bleak in terms of succeeding. Contemplating if he should of moved his things out before he left, he noticed he already at his destination. However, one thing he failed to notice was Kisame. During the whole flight, he was more panic stricken than he normally would be as flight wasn't something he would ever do. Combined with Tobi teasing in the background of everything that could go wrong ("See how high we are? Imagine falling all the way down and going SPLAT, hehe!")

"I can't take it anymore! I need OFF!" Gripping the side of the bird, it leads him to trip over his cloak and fall off from the top. In his frenzy of flailing arms, he managed to grab the wing of the owl which set the whole thing to struggle in a futile attempt to steady itself. The clay creation spiraled out of control and crash-landed into its destination, and being a creation of Deidara as it was, exploded without warning. Luckily for them, Itachi was already far enough away to not see it, and barely hear it just to not care.

…

Sasuke on the other hand found himself waking up to find himself strapped to a table with an obnoxiously bright light right over his face, preventing him to see anything that went around him.

"…think this will go well?"

Sasuke recognized that voice as his brothers, but then another spoke up.

"I hope so." Replied a dry voice that had a slight maniacal undertone. "You can't believe how hard to find good specimens like this. Very unique indeed… Needs to be very careful, a delicate operation. It reacts best to being boiled, for the eyes to pop out…"

Sasukes heart dropped when hearing this, especially the word eyes. 'Shit, is Itachi going to pop my eyeballs out?!' In his memory of looking over Uchiha writings, there were only traces of sayings that involved using another Uchihas eyes to improve their own. He struggled against his restraints to only succeed in gaining notice of the two madmen.

"Argh, seems that the frog stew has to wait. Your brothers awake."

…

Itachi walked over and removed the lamp that was used to study the curse mark and loosened the straps so that Sasuke could sit up. The younger brother after getting up surveyed his surroundings, a plain white room with some medical equipment and random oddities of creatures in glass containers-alive or otherwise.

That's when Sasukes eyes locked on what he guessed was a doctor, an old wrinkled man with a thin neck that stuck out like a vultures which held a bobbling head. The figure was bald save for a small tuff of white fuzz that was settled on top of his skull.

Sasuke eyed him carefully as the man himself lost interest and went back to his… frog intestine stew. Finally tired of waiting for an answer, the boy asked the question.

"Where the hell am I?"

"This man's home. He's Monty, odd name right?" Itachi leaned in close and whispered "actually, it's something longer and more confusing, but that's what I call him. Came from someplace from beyond the known charted territories from the east. Tracked him down when I first hunted down Orochimaru who helped study the virus, although the reason he's here was to study chakra. Oddest thing is, where he comes from, the things we take for granted boggles his mind."

"Are we in town?"

"No, the middle of the forest near the more elevated region; prefers to live more of a hermit's life for some reason."

The man looked back at Sasuke with a grin, to show most of his teeth gone, and one eye lazily looking at the container he was using.

"Can't imagine why." Sasuke said, literally feeling himself turn a bit green.

"Anyways, I talked to him to see if he can do something about that little problem that shows on your neck. In payment, I found him a 'meal.'"

"This is rare find." The man… Monty… said in a bit of a broken language. "Toad like this hide in most dangerous place, quite delicious. Child a rare specimen too. Only one I can work on without all those restrictions from the first, or most…. Now, time for study! Need blood samples, hair, saliva, or jump on prototype vaccine. Only used once, patient head exploded but gave great results!"

Sasuke felt his heart drop again. "How could an exploding head give any good results?!"

"Simple mind child! The virus was eliminated; fulfilled intended purpose."

…


End file.
